WHERE MY LEFTIES AT?!

This goes out to all my lefties who had difficulty using scissors, had to sit at right handed chairs with the fold out desk struggling to write comfortably, been told we do everything weird and backwards... it's alRIGHT to use the Left!!!

August 13. Mark your calandars... We got our own holiday!!!

little known discriminatory fact (dedicated to all left handed people)

who do you think you talking to

having the audacity to

even refer to us

as

abnormal

ambiguous

awkward

backhanded

bungling

careless

clumsy

doubtful

empty

equivocal

fumbling

hollow

maladroit

questionable

south paw

ineft freaks?

using my left

was no choice

but rather my destiny

you see, I conceive my poetic

babies utilizing my ovulating right brain

but birth them with the surrogate left hand

not ain't that insane my man

so just let it be

and never again

scrutinize

or

criticize

me

her

or

him

again

on something so irrelevant as to how

we operate a pen

as a matter of fact

let this petition

seep into your infantile brains

while you at your work desks

designing more

applicable pairs

of scissors

for us

Mister and Mrs.

the authors and inventors of these left handed disses

so today i give you the little known discriminatory fact

brought to you in part by

Websters, La Rousse, and American Heritage

dictionaries and thesauruses

whose slogan is

"disguised unintelligence is our route to crooked excellence."